After a night of beatings and mocking, after being crowned with painful thorns, Jesus was crucified. Crucifixion is probably the most brutal and torturous death penalty ever devised by men. His hands were stretched out wide against the cross and nailed through the two bones in each wrist. As the nails went through this part of the flesh, they would strike the nerve that travels up the arm and cause excruciating pain.

If you hang this way for any period of time, the muscles around your chest cavity become paralyzed. You can breathe in but you can’t breathe out. Death on a cross is really a simple matter of suffocation, except the Romans didn’t want to make it that easy. They’d take a person’s knees and bend them a little bit and nail the feet to the cross.

So a man would hang there in absolute agony until the pain in his chest was about to explode, and then he would lift himself up on his nailed feet to grab a breath. When the pain in his feet grew unbearable, he’d let himself back down again until the pain in his lungs became unbearable. It was an incredibly torturous event.

Eventually, the soldiers would break the legs of the criminal to hasten death by suffocation.

In the case of Jesus, they didn’t have to break His legs, because He had already died. But just to make sure, they stuck a spear in His side. Water and blood came out of the chest cavity, which, doctors say, only happens if the heart rips. You can call it what you want, but Jesus died of a broken heart.

Why did Jesus have to die? Because He alone was able to pay for your sins. You deserved punishment, but Jesus paid the penalty for you: “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God” (1 Peter 3:18 NIV).

for quite a while my mind was just filled with ouch! , wah pain sia!, arghhhhhh! etc etc etc. den it suddenly dawn upon me dat sometimes i just take Jesus’ cruxification for granted and i only remember his ouch and all those during this period of the year. but the thing is shouldn’t we constantly remember it? the fact that Jesus went a long way of sufferings, tortures, humility all because of us.

God i dun wan to take all these for granted anymore and have the ouch feel only during good fridays but i wan to remember in my heart all these dat you gone through and remind me of your love.

Yeah tml easter service=) and daddy’s birthday dinner! hahahx why does it always have to clash?

so why build people? i dun really gain much hahahx considering how much i have to put in but whenever i imagine the impact it could have if i commit myself to being a people-builder, there’s only a word to describe-WOW!

imagine this: if i build 3 ppl and these 3 ppl build another 3 ppl each, and they build another 3 each…..and it continues, imagine how many ppl can be saved, imagine how many ppl can come and worship God and glorify God. the multiplier effect! i’m really very convicted dat this is the fastest way to help the KOG grow. And the amazing thing is dat you never noe if one of dem is gonna be a great church planter next time! hah!

so i asked God who do i build? where do i start? haha i was stupid enough to ask these questions when there’s a tpj cg in front of me! figuratively and literally cos once i asked God and i just looked straight, i see the tpj cg photo in front of me hahahx!

Amanda, Stephanie, Si Qin, Si Qi, Pui Wah, Ying Ying,  Swee Hong, Jaslyn(the tpj j1 at tertiary), Bryan, Melvin, Chicky, Wei En, Jermyn, Vincent, Jun Xian

and of cos Michelle Loo and Joyce!

To help people to grow and to become what God made them to be. haha i wanna be a people builder!!!!!! =)

anyway something random…..

hahax something my mum made. it’s mochi mouse! hahahahx super cute rite! it’s red bean paste filling hahahx! i shall make some for my cg and shepherd hahahhahahahahahahhaha!!!!!!!!!!!

i was so afraid to go home cos i duno how to face my mum. i literally dragged myself home. a 5 mins walk home from mrt and i took like 15 mins. i opened the door and my mum was sitting at the living room. she didn’t even look at me. i nearly burst out crying again. i sat beside her and then it was so awkward dat i had to say something. den i told her” mummy i noe wat are the few courses dat i wanna take le lehx” and den for the next 10 mins it was all me who was talking. talking abt how badly my school did compared to others, how i was feeling right den and den i ran out of things to say. and she said” watever you choose just do it. 行行出状元, who noes you might be one of dem. ” i stunned hahax. den she said” even if you have to go courses which are not popular it’s okay cos next time lesser ppl compete with you also.” the whole entire atmosphere changed. totally changed. i was so so so so happy. if i had gotten good grades i guess all these words will never come out from her mouth. it would just be ” oh okay lorx”. there wouldn’t be comforting words nor approval. it would just be another expected results. so i really wanna thank God for it.

oh another thing is dat if i had good results den i probably duno where to go. i probably will end up in some lab doing research or analysing stuffs which i dun really like. so with my results i’ll choose courses which are more interactive, more relational which is wat i wanted to do!so actually God has decided everything for me!

God,

thanks for the assurance during the pm dat you will hold my hands and receive the results with me.

thanks for really being there when i get my results

thanks for the wonderful cg who came and support, who came and comfort, who came and encourage who were just there. it made a lot of difference.

thanks for helping me get over the down feeling so quickly dat even i’m amazed. tot it would have lasted longer.

thanks for the memorable talk with my mum. short but really really good.

thanks for showing me and guiding me to where you wan me to go.

overall, this is really a emotional day but i’m glad i went through it with God and at the end of the day, i am just left to be amaze at how God plans things so wonderfully. Thanks so much God!=)

~William Law

it made me reflect on how do i read the bible. and it’s true dat sometimes i just read and close the book happily cos i’ve read the bible and done what a normal christian would have done. but the real question is- what have God spoke through the chapters dat you’ve read?

a lot of times we just read the bible for the sake of reading and because of dat we can’t get what God is trying to speak to us. i’m gonna start increasing my desire to read the word of God and squeeeeeeeeeeeze everything thing out of every single word in the bible and i won’t let go of God until i get from Him what he wanna say, cos i dun wanna close the book being unchanged.

i wasn’t scared before this week cos i really trusted God. i noe He will guide and show me the best plans, so i wasn’t worried abt it, no feelings lorx… but… my mum actually talked to me abt wat courses i wanna take wat i wanna do den wat uni i gg…. and i realised how high her expectations for me is. probably my 2 sisiters played a big part in it. i really dun wanna fail her expectations lehx… i can’t bear to see her dissapointed. she wun scold me she wun be angry but i noe she’ll drfinitely be dissapointed.

i’m not worried about me doing badly or what but it’s more of how my family’s gonna take it. God, i really duno how to face my family if i can’t go uni… argh!!! this is irritating!!! i guess i just have to trust God not just in my results but oso my family’s reaction .

surrendering is hard work. God i just wanna surrender my life, my future, everything. even all these emotions. i duno wat’s going to happen but i wana trust you and let you take control.

1) i was watching this super cool drama call Kiina on my com den she came to my room and said “eh you hungry mah?” den i replied” no i just ate the chicken rice” so she went out and came in again and gave me a muffin from her cooking lesson… i was like i not hungry lehx…. hahhax

2) after the muffin she came in and gave me 1 whole box of peeled mandarin orange and she asked me to finish it. so in the end i ate like 4 whole mandarin orange.. and it’s not the small small kind it’s those big ones!

3) den she came in again and asked me ” jie jie went out arh?” i’m like if she’s not at home den obviously she went out rite can’t be she got flushed down into the toilet bowl or got sucked into the tv rite…. so i just told her ” yah.” hahax

4) this is the best… she came in and den talked to me abt my sis’s boyfriend again and she repeated exactly wat she said last time… hahhahx i just sit there and nod my head cos i duno wat to ans hahahhx

5) okay dinner time and after dat she took out mandarin orange again and like wat happened she asked me to finish it. so i ate 4 more and 2 small ones…..

6) so after clearing the tables and everything she took out this shawl dat she bought and she was super happy cos this shawl can be worn in 10 plus plus ways….hahhax and you noe wat she said… she ask me and my sis to compete see who can wear it in the most number of ways…. -.-

7) i walked into the kitchen and saw some nian gao on the table so i asked her to fry it tml den she was like” haiyo you very mafan lehx.” den she took it and she cut it den pass to me. i gave her dat shocked look cos i nvr say i wanna eat it now hahax. den she replied with a super illogical ans hahahx. she said” aiya cut already just eat lahx anyway tml oso need to fry. i noe you hungry one  lahx just eat lahx”  haahx totally no link hahah

so at the end of the day i ate a lot… and esp the 8 big mandarin oranges and the 2 small ones which gave me diarrhea plus… i spent 2.5 hour to watch a 45 min drama cos she keep talking to me hahax

dat’s my mum…. hahahha i duno whether to laugh or to be angry…. hahahhax if it’s me in the past i’ll definitely choose to flare up but now  i choose to just laugh it away and thank God for this wonerful mum=)

You had faith when you sat down in your computer chair – faith that it won’t  collapse

You had faith when you ate – faith that the food stall auntie or uncle won’t poison you

we all have faith an i wanna put my faith in God.

²⁰He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Mat 17:20

sometimes i wonder if things are ever gonna be right and today i know, if i keep thinking it this way, things will never be right.

Little faith + Big God = Huge results!

i’m gonna put my faith in a Big God. Only then will this faith move mountains and help me through all things. God, keep moving.

there will be life transformations.

God, keep moving.

consequences of not finding the thmbdrive—- get scolding from my sis and nothing for ycomm meet!

den suddenly God just told me look through your bag again…. den i’m like no way! i’ve searched it and it’s not there. but still i went to look at it den haha i found it in one of the pockets in my bag hahahahhahx how dumb!

this dumb incident got me thinking. if  i can be so desperate to pray for a missing thumbdrive, and searched high and low for it, then what about all those people out there who have yet to come and know christ? plus… the stakes are much much higher! heh think about it =)